TSE surprises no one and launches philanthropic album “Justiça Petistinha”

In a press conference hastily convened today (13), the TSE ministers announced the release of what promises to be the best-selling album of these elections: Justiça Petistinha vol. 1. The initiative came from Minister Alexandre de Moraes, the most musical of the court. The minister Ricardo Lewandowki proposed that the proceeds be donated to the Association of Victims of Information Disorder, who in one of the tracks surprises with a thirteen-minute guitar solo.

The compositions are versions of the traditional nursery rhymes applied to the country’s political reality. “It is very important to teach jurisprudence to kids. Only then will they be able to one day dream of being nominated for the Supreme Court by the excellent former and future president Lula”, said Cármen Lúcia, composer of the charming “Censura, censurinha”.

Censura censurinha
Let’s all censor

Nobody speaks ill of Lula

If you speak, I’ll shut up

Responsible for the version of “Cai, cai, balloon”, in the cleverly renamed album “Cai, cai, Bozão”, Minister Ricardo Lewandowski spoke of the poetic challenge of transposing the scenario of electoral confrontation to the petistinha children’s universe. “I even called my friend Ayres Britto to help. He’s a poet, you know? But, apart from that, it is gratifying to know that we are managing to reach the children, who will one day grow up knowing that whoever can command and obey whoever has the sense is”, said the minister. Then he sat on a stool, complained about the return and, strumming joãogilbertaly on the guitar, began to sing:

Cai, cai, Bozão

Cai, falls, Bozão

There will be an objection

No, no

No, no no

No no

Lula wins election!

To Alexandre de Moraes, the great creator of the record, it was the version of the controversial “O carnation and the rose”, a classic considered by many an ode to machismo. “It was a challenge to face the structural machismo of our society. On the other hand, I had the opportunity to pay tribute not only to my dear friend Rosa Weber, but also to all the members of the STF. Oh, and in the first verse I pay homage to the most important of all, right?”, he said, his bald head doing justice to the nickname of Sun Judge.

Xande said to Rosa:

Just a facade,

Censorship is deferred

Supreme only gives my pals

In time, you must have noticed the Portuguese mistakes in some of the verses. Everything is intentional, according to the project’s pedagogical coordinator, who preferred anonymity so as not to be the target of literate fascists. “Errors are not errors. It’s the popular way of saying it. Long live Paulo Freire!”, he said, explained and shouted. Which could also be her. Or elx.

Author of the beautiful verses of the version of “Lollipop”, minister Benedito Gonçalves insisted on emphasizing the philanthropic character of the record. “This record is dedicated to the unfortunate victims of information disorder. Unfortunately, there is a lot of journalistic content like this, which uses premises, facts and even true truths to tarnish the honor of former president Lula”, he said, drawing tears from the audience formed exclusively by journalists from the ABI (Brazilian Press Association). Then the minister took the cavaquinho and let out a loud voice:

Birolino who is already late

Birolino who has already lost

She’s the one who gives the slap

But I’ll take care of Lula

Don’t miss out on your children’s discotheque ” Petty Justice”. Buy of your own free will, before the TSE decides that it is mandatory. Available in the best and also the worst houses in the industry.

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