the thousandth chronic

O cronista estava tão emocionado que não conseguiu nem pensar numa legenda para a foto.

)The chronicler was so moved that he couldn’t even think of a caption for the photo.| Photo: Reproduction

Well friends of Rede Globo. We are here today to celebrate this special moment. The thousandth chronicle of Paulo Polzonoff Jr. It was up to fate to choose us as a theme and characters. And I can only thank you for this plus in the life of someone who has covered so many important events, such as the World Cup, the Olympics and Formula 1 racing But the emotions of sport, I confess, are nothing compared to this magical moment. By my side, my great companion for so many years, the unmistakable Walter Casagrande. Tell me, Casão, what are you feeling?


It’s a privilege, Galvão. And the cool thing is that we feel that history is being written at this very moment.

And it is, Casão. Do you know that Paulo told me that he doesn’t always know how the chronicle will end? Maybe it’s one of those moments. Maybe just now he wrote “maybe it’s one of those moments”. Maybe he started a sentence. Maybe he will force me to call someone in the field.


I did not say?! Say it, Tino.

It is worth remembering that this thousandth chronicle is not [pausa dramática] unanimity among specialists . There are people who say that this number is [pausa dramática] inflated. There’s a lot of article, interview and even [pausa dramática] report in the middle. And that’s not all, Galvão. There are people who say that, in absolute numbers, he is not even close to reaching the [pausa dramática] thousandth chronic.

It’s really complicated, Tino. I’ve been there years in this field and I have never seen a competent management of literary cartology. And the result is that we arrive at this special day without knowing whether or not this is in fact the thousandth chronicle. Can you, Arnold? [silêncio] Ah, I always forget that Arnaldo retired before having the opportunity to comment on her most important moves, the thousandth chronicle by Paulo Polzonoff Jr. I miss Arnaldo, Casão!


And you need it, right, Galvão?

Oh, if you do. He could be discussing that more violent comma there. That oblique pronoun at the beginning of the sentence. That sentence that starts with a relative pronoun… But wait, now I have to call him. The big star of the day. The man of a thousand chronicles. The myth. From the school benches. From the filthy sofa at the UFPR Academic Center. He who… But who’s with him, huh?

Galvão! It’s me, Galvão.

Ah, it’s Régis Rösing. Say it, Regis. What does the chronicler have to say on this very special day?


Yeah, Galvão. I am here with Paulo Polzonoff Jr., who today is writing the thousandth chronicle in
Gazeta do Povo2022. He’s very emotional here, Galvão. Paulinho, I’m going to start with a provocation. After all, is this your thousandth chronicle or not? [O entrevistado cobre o rosto e chora de soluçar] Well, Galvão. As you can see, he is very emotional. Paulinho, Paulinho. Look here at the camera. Tell us. Is this your 1,000th column? To whom do you dedicate this very special text? [O entrevistado está quase tendo um ataque epilético de tanto chorar] Galvão, I don’t think it will. He can’t even speak.

Somebody give the man a tranquilizer! Well, while the chronicler calms down, we’re still here with our exclusive coverage of the thousandth chronicle by Paulo Polzonoff Jr. You understand the chronicler’s emotion, don’t you, Casão?



But the audience wants to hear what he has to say, Casão. It is in respect to the public [REGIS RÖSING] that he has to talk to Régis. Let’s take a break and be right back. [A transmissão não vai para o intervalo e Galvão esquece o microfone aberto]. Someone has to do something with the white man. Come on, Régis, give him a nudge there. You have to stop crying. You have to say something serious. You have to answer. Ask him if… [Alguém avisa a Galvão que o microfone está aberto] Well friends, we’re back with the transmission of the thousandth chronicle by Paulo Polzonoff Jr. The expectation is high and so is the mystery. What will be the subject of this text that is a milestone in the history of journalism and, why not?, of Brazilian literature. No, worldwide!

[CASÃO] I bet he will talk about politics. Just see Alexandre de Moraes’ most recent mischief, Galvão.

[O entrevistado cobre o rosto e chora de soluçar]

I don’t know, no, Casão. The man is all excited there. I don’t think he’ll be able to talk about politics, no. It looks more like a satire.

Or, or, or… Or else a parody.

Most likely… But there’s someone calling me here at the bus stop, Casão. Regis? Will he finally be able to speak? Looks like the chronicler is going to talk, folks. How much emotion!

No, Galvão. He even took off his boots and is going back to the locker room…

But it is not possible!


Say it, Tino.


Felt. The chronicler really felt the weight of the [pausa dramática] thousandth column and asked to leave the field. It’s official: it’s no longer for him.

It is really regrettable the state that the Brazilian literary and journalistic chronicle has reached. It’s shameful. That would never happen in Europe. There, if the guy does one of those, he goes to jail! Or never play again! Well, they are telling me here that it is to close. If you won’t have it, you won’t have it. It’s no use insisting. And so we end the broadcast of the thousandth chronicle by Paulo Polzonoff Jr. Stay now with the Afternoon Session and the movie “Enjoying Life Adoidado”.

The columnist leaves on vacation and returns in May.

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