Quotes of the week: “If elected, Lula will lead a radical government”

“It is unreasonable to compare me with Sarney. This is something from people who supported the Cruzado Plan, which was an excrescence, and is traumatized to this day. They are resurrecting and trying to exorcise their own ghosts to this day” – Paulo Guedes, Minister of Economy, explaining himself after last week’s misunderstanding. With all due respect, you have to learn to speak better, minister.

“Mx Gile says he found himself non-binary after finding a community on Tumblr” – The New York Times, at the same time legitimizing the neutral form of “mr” or “ms” (mr. and mrs) and confirming the thesis that the trans issue does involve social contagion .

“Disclose the brands for us to accuse them of what they are: undemocratic and sympathetic to fascism; in fact, influencers should already start this work” – Jean Wyllys, ex-anything, accusing brands that don’t want to get involved with politics (that is, support Lula or hire PT influencers) as fascists. Will there be smackdown on election day again?

“Dating apps are increasingly an important aspect of our lives. They shouldn’t be controlled by irresponsible companies and profit seekers” – socialist magazine Jacobin. Yes, because now it is also up to the State to control who you date. Taking into account the name of the magazine, Marat must be turning in hell.

“We can even live without oxygen, but never without freedom” – Jair Bolsonaro , president. Hmmm. See…

“We are all not interested in concluding the election under the shadow of mistrust” – Paulo Sérgio Nogueira de Oliveira, Defense Minister, using a cartoon mixture of gunpowder, gasoline and nitroglycerin to write a letter to the TSE. The TSE president’s response, Edson Fachin, was perfectly bureaucratic.

“No one can forget what happened in Brazil, at Mensalão, at Lava Jato, even though there was an annulment formal, but those 50 millions of the bags were real, they were not counterfeit US bills” – Luiz Fux, STF minister It must have been a lapse of the minister who, momentarily, forgot the agreement.

“I am against the southeastern arraiá” – Nayara Felizardo, who defines himself as “born from Ceará, from Pernambuco by father and mother, from Piauí by training and a proud lesbian”. the lucky girl wants to put an end to her popcorn, her pine cone, her quentao and her fishing game. But don’t worry: on election day there will be a cake to convince, yes. “SERIOUSLY! A group of armed men with a Nazi swastika entered a bar in Campinas to kidnap an immigrant worker from Guinea-Bissau” – Talíria Petrone, far-left deputy, declaring open to hunting season for imaginary Nazism in Brazil.

“I leave public life with a sense of accomplishment” – João Dória, ex-governor of São Paulo, ex-presidential candidate and, now, ex-politician. But wasn’t the “father of the vaccine” absolutely sure that he would be the new president of Brazil? Ué…

“We should be more concerned about population collapse. UN projections are nonsense” – Elon Musk, billionaire, in his almost solitary struggle against Malthusianism.

“It was once a plantation called Brazil. Guedes was the foreman. Guedes’ partners spent their time at resorts on the Moon. Havan Vein was a gossipy parrot, MBL were a bunch of evil Teletubies, and Bozonazi was the scarecrow. How does this story end?” – Marcia Tiburi, philosopher and figure stamped in the phrases of the week, exposing all her literary talent. What is this plantation that even has a Havan store and Teletubies in the middle?

“Lula will make a conciliatory political speech, however, if elected, he will make a radical government” – Leonardo Boff, excommunicated theologian, opening wide the intentions of Lulism. The only possible comment is: toc, toc, toc!

“We economists, who signed this manifesto, are clear that the Brazil’s return to a trajectory of civilizing progress necessarily involves the election of the Lula-Alckmin ticket in the first round of the general elections” – manifesto of PT economists. Or rather, manifesto of economic flat earthers. And notice that the victory has to be in the first round. When we tell this to our grandchildren, they won’t believe it.

“Ridiculous. There is no other definition of a project that mandates education in public schools. The problem for low-income families in Rio Grande do Sul is a lack of money, not financial management” – Luciana Genro, state deputy. It sounds silly, but it makes all the sense in the world. On the left, she was never interested in the poor knowing how to deal with their little money. After all, the left wants poor state slaves.

“You can’t tell me you think it was fair” – Amber Head, ex-Ms. Depp, in her first interview after the sentence that buried the #MeToo movement. Amber, yes we can. In fact, it was fair . Very fair. Very fair.

“Bolsonaro’s Brazil slaughtered 28 people in Vila Cruzeiro. Bolsonaro’s Brazil killed Genivaldo. Bolsonaro’s Brazil killed Bruno and Dom. Bolsonaro’s Brazil killed 700 a thousand people from Covid” – Flávio Gomes, café-au-lait journalist, calling me, you , we, all murderers. It’s easier to point the finger than to look inside yourself, right?

“In a thong, Pabllo Vittar shows a negative belly in a selfie in the mirror” – magazine headline Who, reproducing a photo that is the visual equivalent of Chernobyl.

“I make this decision because we understand that we need a governor for everyone, who likes people. A governor with a work agenda for the present and with a vision of the future” – Fernando Collor, ex- president, announcing that he will run for governor of Alagoas. It is not yet known what the poor state of Alagoas did to deserve such punishment.

“The association’s research indicates that Ratanabá would have been the capital of the world for 450 millions of years ago and was built by the first civilization on Earth called Muril, which was not p rimitiva” – Mario Frias, ex-secretary of culture, drinking from the same fountain as Marcia Tiburi, trying to talk straight and failing. It seems that Mario got into a cold when embarking on this story of civilization lost under the Amazon. Not with much Workout to understand what the ex-secretary tried to say.


“I had already said that I would not run for reelection, and I will comply with it, regardless of anything. I will not run because I am critical of reelection” – Eduardo Leite, former governor of Rio Grande do Sul who on Tuesday (14) announced that he intends to run for reelection.

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