Fazuelli Ristorante, owned by multimillionaire international lecturer Lizinácio, opened its doors a few weeks ago, on October 30. Powerfully decorated by socialite-with-a-social-consciousness Janja da Sylvah in a Soviet neo-brutalist style with a touch of kitsch, the restaurant has drawn the attention of high society for its distinguished patrons and for its unusual menu – creation of chef Alckmin.
Born into a family of wealthy chayote breeders, the Tucanos, Alckmin (whose real name is Astolfo) still in his teens decided to abandon the cultivation of cucurbitaceous fruits commonly confused with vegetables to learn about cooking in public school kitchens in São Paulo. After decades preparing the most varied types of meals, he won the MasterChef with a dish of traíra with – oh!, irony of fate – fried chayotes in peroba oil.
The recipe and the victory in the reality show earned him an invitation to head the kitchen at Fazuelli Ristorante, where Alckmin was able to exercise all his gastronomic creativity, satisfying the falsely refined palate and the profligate pocket of world celebrities of politics and organized crime. Like Marcos Willians Herbas Camacho, CEO of 1533.Ltda, who for Alckmin’s most famous dish, the robá-lo à socialismo fabiano, gave 5 stars on iFood.
He has a restless heart, but the chef at the only 5-star restaurant in the Marcola Guide recently decided to change the entire menu at Fazuelli Ristorante. Alckmin, however, makes a point of registering a warning: anyone who expects a menu inspired by lulinha paz & amor cuisine will have to look for another place to eat, because, from now on, Fazuelli Ristorante will only serve communoprogressive-developmentalist dishes .
It is an extensive menu, currently with 283 dishes, including former ministers, accused and arrested for corruption, globalists, ecochatos, ongoers and communes of old school. At Fazuelli Ristorante all dishes cost R$13,13 + pixuleco. And here I take the opportunity to highlight the favorite dish of contractors and industrialists who frequent Fazuelli: the guido na mantega – an extravagant antepastwhich mixes high inflation and national champions, with the aftertaste of a drop in GDP.
As a main course, diners have options with the most varied levels of leftism. More demanding palates can opt for the Okamoto fillet (prepared with delicious shavings from pension funds), the randolfe a bird or the sarapatel humberto costa, prepared with blood diverted from SUS. As for those who prefer to go hungry and only go to the restaurant to celebrate spurious dealings, the most recommended dish is the holodomor à Flávio Dino. The vegan option is on account of the traditional watermelon barbecue, served in Bela and Preta sizes, depending on the customer’s appetite.
Among the desserts , it is worth mentioning the strawberry Janones with condensed milk cream, a recipe that, out of habit, Alckmin says he stole from a crazy minerim.
The Fazuelli Ristorante is located in a dark annex of the STF. The restaurant has reservations made until the next elections (if any), but that’s nothing that a little bribe to maître Daniel (code name) can’t solve.
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