Clan couscous recipe

Heads up! This recipe contains soy, milk, egg, gluten, and mostly a lot of commonplace chronicles that emulate the style of cookbooks. Enjoy with moderation. Excessive consumption of clan couscous can cause impotence. If symptoms persist, a doctor should be consulted. Before entering the elevator, make sure it is stopped on this floor. Batteries not included.


1 special oven for Marxist roasts (made in China, of course)

1 communist party smeared with a generous layer of lies

1 stage in front of paid militancy


½ cup of stupidity

3 or 4 intellectuals

1 liter of cachaça (can be the cheapest same)

1 million

Generous doses of narcissism

Kiss-ass (to taste)

1 husky-voiced ex-con

1 liter of militant journalism juice

Progressivism (to taste)

Fresh identity (to decorate)

1 TSE sheet (optional)

Grains of electoral polls (optional)

45%, according to Datafolha


In the Communist Party Oide previously smeared with a generous layer of lies, mix intellectuals and stupidity. But it has to be quality stupidity, huh? Prefer the French, Sorbonne brand. If it is not possible to use the imported product, I suggest the USP brand. For this clan couscous, I used a Djamila, a Paulo Freire and a Foucault who was almost out of date. As soon as the mixture starts to foam with anger, add the corn.

Add the cachaça. It might even be the cheapest. Let it rest. Preferably in a public position or, if that’s not possible, in a union. You will notice that the initial mixture will acquire a very viscous swagger aspect. When you’re at this point, add generous doses of narcissism. Increase the petismo and boil for five seconds or until the end of this paragraph.

Don’t be too scared with this slop you have in your hands. Scare yourself just a little and try not to throw up. The stickiness, you’ll see, will soon gain consistency, not least because the chronicle is coming to an end. Take that porridge of dishonesty you have in your hands and transfer it to a stage in front of paid militancy. Sprinkle the baggies all over the surface and, in the middle of them, place a hoarse-voiced ex-con.

Now, very carefully, pour juice over the hoarse-voiced ex-con of militant journalism. That, very slowly. Make sure he’s all bathed in the bright red glow of leftist narratives, adversative conjunctions, and world-changing factoids. Sprinkle with progressivism and decorate with fresh identity. But don’t overdo it, otherwise it starts to stink. To ensure the success of the recipe, there are people who like to add a little TSE leaflet or a few grains of election polls.

Place everything in the special oven for Marxist roasts. With any luck for you and unlucky for whoever is going to eat it, after 30 minutes in high petismo the clan couscous is ready. Serve it with a glass of gall, envy and resentment.


For you , future reader: when referring to the people who attended the demonstrations on September 7, 2022, Lula said that they all looked like members of the Ku Klux Klan, the North-American racist group. American. Feigning ignorance, though, the ex-con said something that sounded like “clan couscous.” Hence today’s recipe.

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