In the middle of the conversation, the conversation unintentionally turns to politics. After many you-knew-whats on one side and so many heard-says on the other, my interlocutor confesses his intention to vote lulo, I mean, null. Educated that I am, I ask the question that the other person is dying to answer: why? The interlocutor opens that smile of someone who thinks he is very smart, takes a deep breath as if he had just received the Salvation Boards, and replies that Lula, ah, Lula does not, for obvious reasons, but Bolsonaro is also far from being the president. ideal.
Talking to me must really be a drag – which perhaps explains this insistent loneliness. Because in the next moment I act like a rhetorical fencer, shout “en garde” and attack with an obvious doubt, but for which the interlocutor was not expecting. Not at that time. Not even after so much wine. “What would an ideal president be for you?” I ask. And I see the question being left in the void. The caller asks for the bill, gets up and leaves. The damage, in many ways, is all mine.
I return home and get the proverbial flea behind my ear. I lie down and, next to me, the woman resounds melodically, because snoring is a man’s thing. Catota, noticing my uneasiness, looks at me with a stop-moving-I-want-to-sleep face. Until I give up and go to the balcony to think about this text while watching the spectacle of two drunks who, for some reason, chose the corner of my building to resolve their disagreements.
What would an ideal president be? ? I’m standing here on the balcony, scouring every corner of my gnawed memory for good recent historical references. Unsuccessfully. You can think of Churchill, but Churchill was prime minister. Not to mention the flaws exposed even in the laudatory biography written by Paul Johnson. You can think of a Reagan, a Roosevelt, but not even the great American presidents can be considered “ideal”. After all, both (all) had their share of mistakes and crises.
It is a truly unbearable thing to have to periodically choose human leaders whose decisions can directly or indirectly affect our lives. Failed leaders and far from anyone’s ideal. In fact, one of the mysteries of this insane search for an ideal president is precisely this: who determines the appearance, behavior and decisions of an ideal president?
Behold, it gets down on me l’esprit d’escalier and it makes me want to call the interlocutor. But I check my watch and it’s late. If this is yet another friendship lost to politics, so be it. In giving up, however, I allow myself to take a notebook to jot down the afterthought. “If I can’t even be my image of an ideal writer, how can I expect anyone to be my image of an ideal president?” I write in scrawl, hoping the next morning I’ll decipher the hurried message. (It worked).
And here’s a probably wrong confession, the kind we feel comfortable making at dawn, while watching two drunks who have now exchanged insults and slaps for a hug fraternal. At least I hope it stays alone in the fraternal. My ideal president would be someone similar to Emperor Marcus Aurelius (not to be confused with the former demigod Marco Aurelius, the one from the STF). Or rather, someone similar to the image I make of Emperor Marcus Aurelius from reading the “Meditations”.
Ah, it would be nice to watch the lives
from Thursday listening to advice like “you must constantly reflect on the people you seek validation from”. It would be close to ideal to open the newspapers and read the headline “’Don’t waste time arguing about what a good man should be; be,’ says the president”. But let’s be honest: in the vulgar popularity contest that this democracy has become, there is no room for wise men. Democracy is the rule of the smart – and that’s not a compliment.
I go back to bed. stumble. I make the most noise. And I make the deadly mistake of waking up the woman, who asks me where I was. Or rather, where were you???!!! As if it were my nature to go out at dawn to, I don’t know, play biriba with friends. I say that I was on the balcony, feeling cold and thinking about the ideal president and the absurd justifications that many people give to explain a rejection of the current president that is merely aesthetic and emotional. And that sometimes it is simply the dissimulated speech of someone without the courage to assume a certain appreciation for Luiz. Yes, Inácio.
